Jealous of [my] Angel, My Nani Goat.

“I didn’t know today would be our last, or that I’d have to say goodbye to you so fast. I’m so numb, I can’t feel anymore.” -Jealous of the Angels, Donna Taggart. 

My Nani Goat.  My Mawmaw. My Best Friend. And as of 12/7/22, My Angel. 

This is [yet another] good-bye I never wanted to say. Never followed by a “Hello Carli Cakes”.

Yet another face that’s missing from the sidelines. A chair at the table that can never be filled. A hole in my heart that can only be filled with the piece you took to heaven. 

I don’t know how to go on. My world is shattered. My short 26 years with you will never be close to enough. 

I got a lot from you. My picky eating. My high- maintenance hair and nails. My eyebrows (if you know, you know). My art skills (again, if you know you know). My stubborn steak. My inability to look at stray animals without taking one home. 

Thank you for letting me spend your last days with you- watching Game Show Network way too loud, eating desserts, and just being silly. 

9 o’clock will never be the same. I called them every single night at 9 o’clock while I was washing my face. It’s that simple routine I’ll miss the most. I can definitely count on many breakdowns occurring because I can’t call to hear her say “Carli Cakes”

I was lucky enough to spend most of my days with her growing up. Especially after school, sleep overs with pizza & ice cream parties, forcing her into watching reality tv with me, or tagging along to dinner or card clubs with their best friends. Those are days I’ll tressure forever and always. 

I have countless memories involving mawmaw. But the two that stick out the most seem silly or insignificant, but they sum us up pretty well. 

One of my favorites was telling her “if my future husband doesn’t shove cake in my face at our wedding, I need you to do it”—so I need someone to take that over, even though Billy will surely take care of it for me.  I don’t know why this memory sticks out- maybe it’s because it’s a prominent reminder of all the things she’ll miss or maybe it’s because it summed up our relationship so well. 

The other is the only time she was mad enough to not talk to me for 3 days. She stopped on the intersection at Watson & 2-70 because “she was in the wrong lane”. She stopped. On the highway. And I yelled at her. She was SO mad at me, that she refused to talk to me. But it only lasted 3 days before my mom & pawpaw talked some sense her, into both of us. It’s a story we tell every time we pass that intersection- which is often. 

She was stubborn, silly, caring, attentive, and one of the best people I knew. 

Man, she had a stubborn streak a mile long.  Her last word was a very clear, and loud, “NO!” which is very fitting.

She hated her nickname of Nani Goat, like really hated it. But she grew to love it as I never let it die. I’m so glad I didn’t. 

I’ll miss making faces at you, even though you hated that too. 

Most of all, I’ll miss my best friend. I love you to heaven & back, Nani Goat. 


Stay Fancy, Nancy. 

Published by carlilyn.blog

Hi, my name is Carli Lyn. I'm a little sassy & a little smart-assy. I'm a 25 year old grandma who loves to sleep, drink tea, & watch TV. I'm an avid (okay, crazy-obsessed) St. Louis Cardinals baseball fan. I am a crazy obsessed dog mom to my two little girls- Patience & Graci. I'm the pickiest eater you'll ever meet. The only healthy habit I have is drinking 8+ cups of water a day. I love Target. I love planners & pens. I love organization and anything HGTV. Oh also, I have a rare genetic bone condition- Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva &I have really cute little big toes.

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